Who will carry me when I am down?

This is always a question for me. Who can really save me? or i should stoppoing being navie, there is just myself can save me.

Sometimes, we just don't trust anyone else, anything else, I know it's sad! But can we really change ourselves, change something has been there for more than two decades? I don't think i have this power, even anyone else.

So, when i am down, feel i am sinking, I really don't know how to do. I have limited power, i don't want to bother anyone else, i don't know who i should yell at for help, anything is floating away from me, i just feel deep, deeper, deeper, and feel every next time can be deepest. Jacques always has his dolphins with him, i am not sure whether he can see the light down there, I see nothing. Even have no right to pray, who should i pray?

First shock came from that girl, I even did not see her face clearly. But when she just bleeding there, my only word was sorry, she asked me,'Do you believe God?' Maybe she believed it's God saved her from danger, will he or she will save me as well when i am in danger?

This is fate, just like they said, '这个国家是我们大家的，尽管大家不十分相同，也没有谁可以跳出中国人民这一范畴之外单独成立的。个人的生活经历、思想形成自有其因缘，偶发性和不可等同处，但在同一国度，每个人总难免共同的命运和造物播弄。'

造物弄人，我想不只是形容两个人的感情吧．人生是注定的，我不是唯心主义者，但我相信人在世间是渺小的，不能控制自己的归宿，但是为了自己的理想和信念去抗争是不可避免的，否则人生就没有意义了，与天斗，其乐无穷，纵然遍体鳞伤，也会无所遗憾！

So, during our lives, we should have some rules in our hearts, we need to remember them all the time. There are two have been with me for long time, and i just find the third one yesterday, sometimes some feelings just one flash in your mind, don't just let them go!

Rule 1, Never regret, Never, there is no if there!
Rule 2, Never want to end my life by myself, don't even think about it!
Rule 3, Even the whole world will leave me away, I still trust myself!

I need to thanks the yukky pasta last night, they helped me find my third rule. So i think i need to try things i didn't like before, just like pasta! I hated it before, actually it was unveiled that not because of pasta itself, it's tomato sauce ruined everything. Is there any Lazania without tomato sauce?

And maybe i can also try some Japanese products, try to survey again the people i don't like to find my own discriminations, and what's more......................